Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Always Love

For no particular reason, I'm really feeling this song tonight.

"I've been held back by something/
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs/
I've been held back by something. ...

Always love/
Hate will get you every time/
Always love/
Hate will get you."

Here's a link to the rest of these beautiful lyrics. If you want to hear more Nada Surf, I promise you'll really enjoy them. Here's that link.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

My New Job

I'm not honestly sure how much I can mention on my blog since there's supposed to be some level of confidentiality. I thought I'd tell you all a little, though. I got a new job caretaking adults with developmental disabilities. It's a pretty good job. I make decent money, and more than anything else, I watch tv and change diapers between commercial breaks. It's not glamorous, but it's a hell of a lot better than Garbanzo ever was. I'm excited to be learning new things and to be in a job that will at least open up other, better doors that won't be taking me back to working in a restaurant or retail. Probably shouldn't say that; I'm jinxing myself. I probably won't talk about it a lot more in my blog because the things I enjoy discussing are not jobs.

But remember in my last post how I said I'm not sure special education is my chosen career anymore? Yeah, I'm like a hundred percent positive of it now. I really need to get back into school and figure out what I want to do. Until I figure out what I want to do, I'm not gonna waste my money taking classes for fun. So I guess I should say I need to figure out what I want to do and then get in school (not the other way around.) Maybe y'all can help me peg what it is I want to do. Let's give it a go.

This is not necessarily in order.

#1. Theology Professor

He says, "Why not?"

#2. Lawyer

 But like, the good kind. Do they exist?

#3. Architect

Am I smart enough? There's a lot of math in that. I guess the question isn't if I'm smart, it's if I'm motivated enough.

#4. Real Estate Agent

Maybe? I promise if you help me realize this dream, I will make this face when I sell my first home.

#5. Interior Designer

Three things: Can you tell I've been watching a lot of HGTV at my new job? This must be where all these house career desires are coming from. 2. Yes, they're coming from that. But I have thought about interior designing before then brushed it off as unrealistic. Let's keep in mind, I'm not looking for totally realistic anymore. 3. This is David Bromstad. His show Color Splash sucks.

#6. A Colorado Police Officer

 This is a joke! I'm still annoyed about that ticket.

#7. Event Planner

When I heard that this was a career, I exclaimed I needed this job! I've planned lots of events, and I've loved every single second of it -- even the stressful seconds. There's such a reward in pulling off an event. So, I have to say theology professor, event planner, and interior designer are my top three choices right now.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Change of Heart

I started writing this in October, and I never finished. 

Keep in mind, I'm not currently enrolled in school. However, I want to be. The more I think about it, the harder it is to convince myself to go. What am I going for? To get a degree so that I can get a job. That's a joke at this point. What college students are graduating and getting their dream jobs anymore? Very few of them, and those that do need to feel very lucky. So if that's my reason to go to school, then why would I be going to school at all? Totally valid question, totally valid point. Right now, school doesn't make sense.

As I've come to terms with school not being an option for me right now, and at times thinking it won't ever be an option, I prepare myself to work towards becoming management and dealing with back breaking work for little pay the rest of my life. I can't help but think that doesn't always matter. If I go into work with a good attitude, I can mostly enjoy my job. Not a soul enjoys their job all of the time. I come home to a life where I can turn off work and enjoy what I do outside of it. I'm lucky, and the money thing doesn't matter. I just need to pay my bills and survive. I'm not homeless; I'm not starving; I'm not deprived in any way (regardless of how lavish my lifestyle is compared to how it used to be).

Now that I've been preparing myself for that kind of life, I'm thinking some of my other thoughts about school aren't following suit. It's time to change that.

Declared major: Special education. Excellent. Exciting. Worthy of my time. Not sure it's what I want. I can't figure out for the life of me what age group I want to teach. I don't want to babysit preschool and elementary age. I don't want to deal with middle schoolers entering puberty and tween girls coming to me for period advice. I don't want high schoolers because I just don't want them. I'm seriously enjoying children less and less. I think the special education teacher is more of a volunteer type thing. I love helping out how I can, but I do not want to make a career of it anymore.

There is something that just keeps nagging at me. Nagging, nagging, nagging. I push it away because of money and job security -- which just doesn't make sense anymore. It's Theology. Since I started studying Mormonism more closely in institute classes at the age of 14, I was enthralled. After leaving the church, my interest never wavered. I want to know about every religion out there. It's all fascinating to me. It is my biggest passion in life, and I constantly wonder if that's what I should study in college.

I keep wondering what it is I can do with a theology degree, though. I could stay on the teacher path and teach as a professor. However, being a professor is a difficult job to come by and requires a ton of schooling. I could do a double major as theology/english and become a writer perhaps. Again not a lot of job security or monetary status in that profession. But why do either of those things matter? Seriously. Who cares if theology is a practical degree. I would get a kick out of studying it. I don't know, though. We'll see.
Now that I have a new job, one that I need to update you on, I really am becoming convinced that special education is not my dream. I love politics; I loved law class in high school; and, I still love the study of religion. Maybe I can try to become a professor of theology. I'll figure it out eventually.

By the way, if you read my last post, you saw that I said I wished I had pictures to post with it. Well I got some pictures up, so go back and check them out.

Monday, February 13, 2012

A Visitor!

My mother came to town last week, and it was wonderful. I'm still kinda sad that she left. Sometimes when I think about it, I tear up a little. I'm one hundred percent a mama's boy.

She was supposed to come out on Friday, but we got a huge snowstorm in Denver. The damage was 18 inches. Flights were cancelled and roads were closed. My mother did not make it in on Friday as planned. I was upset as expected. Hysterical really, but we won't get into that. My mom rescheduled her flight for Sunday morning and leaving for Friday afternoon. It was a half day more than I would've gotten if she came in on Friday as planned. So in all reality, it worked out better.

Once I had picked my mom up on Sunday, we came back home. Deb had made lunch for us. After lunch we played cards and just talked. Shelley came home from work late, and then we went to Red Robin for dinner. Monday we went to Celestial Seasoning Tea Tour. It was pretty boring as far as I'm concerned. The rest of the ladies loved it (my mom, Shelley, and Deb). Lots of tea was purchased afterwards. We'll never need to buy tea again. We went to Hacienda for lunch, and my mom said it was her favorite thing we'd done during her trip. We came home, hung out and Deb made a roast for dinner. Tuesday, we went to Egg and I for breakfast. Then we went to Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I love that museum. We saw an IMAX while we were there about pterosaurs. It was actually pretty creepy. Wednesday we went shopping and did all sorts of stuff. Thursday, we went to Canvas and Cocktails. Also my mom's favorite activity while out here. Friday, she helped me redecorate my bedroom. We went to Chili's for lunch, and she left me. So sad.

Actually kinda funny story, as we were driving to the airport, she told me how impressive of a driver I had become. She mentioned something about how I'm not much of a speeder. On my way home from the airport, I got a speeding ticket. Wow. Thanks for jinxing me, mother!

 On our way to Celestial Seasoning Tour. We're very expressive, emotional people.

Checking out the Butterfly Nebula at Denver Museum of Nature and Science.

Learning about our Earth at the museum.

Me and my mom

Shelley looking through a telescope.

Me and my mom again. Do you like my new doo?

Gained some antlers while at the museum. You can see how they tie me down.

We had too much fun.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Maybe It'll Work

I'm writing a list of things I need/want to blog about. I'm hoping by making this list it'll help me feel more motivated to blog. Ya know, the idea that someone is waiting.

Til then, enjoy this song.

I know you're not listening. I swear if you do, you'll laugh. I swear!

-Finish that draft.
-Adam and Eve
-New Job 
-PWNing n00bs
-Mother's trip here

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Blame It On The Weather

Dear Lee,

I feel like everything I do as of late is just me screwing up some more. I feel incredibly confused as to where I'm at in my life currently. I wish I could just ask these people for some words of advice. In fact, I'd appreciate talking to anyone older and wiser than me right now.

-You Know Who