Thursday, September 29, 2011

Not Sleeping

I think we've all been there. Except I've never had a sleeping problem unless not getting enough making me crabby is a problem. I've decided that it is.

Shelley's work schedule has changed to Monday to Friday from 3 to 11. I thought I'd switch to closing shifts at my work and go to bed late to be able to spend the mornings with her. Bad, bad idea. Shelley's a night owl, and I'm most definitely a morning person. When I moved in with Shelley, we had to strike a balance. We would go to bed between ten and eleven -- which if you know me is super freakin' late for me. However, I got used to that. I could go to bed then and wake up between nine and ten in the morning and be ready to go.

This new schedule, however, isn't working in the slightest. Now we get to bed between 11:30 and one. 1AM is a very scary time for me. When the clock strikes midnight, I start getting nervous. "Oh dear, it's super late. I'm gonna be so tired and so crabby. This can't be happening." When the clock strikes 1AM, I'm a mess. "Help me, I'm freaking out, man! There is no way in Hell I can live off of this much sleep."

It's taking it's toll. I keep bringing up circadian rhythm's to people I want to discuss this with, but everyone thinks I'm blowing smoke out my rear end. Circadian Rhythms are completely real. You have people who are early to bed, early to rise (me). You have people who can stay up all night and feel fine waking up in the morning super late (Shelley). You have people who can live off of a little sleep. You have people who can't function without eight hours at least. Everyone can agree to all of that, but what most don't realize is how important the aforementioned "morning" and "night" patterns are.

I can sleep from 11PM to 9AM (10 hours) and feel great. If I sleep from 12AM to 10AM (10 hours), I feel rotten. I still feel very sleepy. I feel like I didn't sleep at all. I feel like I'm getting sick. I'm completely throwing off my circadian rhythm. I'm not sure if the pattern depends on me getting to sleep at a certain time or if it depends on me waking up at a certain time. I don't know. I guess I need to start experimenting with it. I really feel like crap, and no one seems to relate or think that I'm telling the truth.

If I can't figure out how to rewire the way I sleep, I'm gonna have to miss seeing Shelley between Monday and Friday. Bummer.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Utah Pride

I guess at times I have Utah Pride, somewhere buried deep down inside of me. When someone from Colorado says something about how Utah is really ugly compared to Colorado, I get really angry. I can agree that Colorado is better than Utah in  most every way. I can agree that almost anywhere is better than Utah in most every way. But I think y'all need to learn your place.

"Utah has the ugly side of the mountains" is an acceptable comment from anyone who lives in Utah. When a person from Colorado says it, I want to start shouting obscenities about how Utah is pretty and Utah is great. It's not great, I know this. But if you're not from Utah, you can't say it. So shut up.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Just Saying

(This is not a letter to Lee.)

I used to love you. I mean, what I thought was love. I seriously don't even know how to describe what I felt for you. I don't know how you found a way back in my head but you did. I'm confused and feel like I'm headed down a dark path if I don't get a hold of myself. You're the devil himself, says the atheist.