I'm finally getting around to finishing the blog I started writing a bit ago. I haven't felt the way I'm about to write for a few weeks, so it'll be a bit hard to write on a topic I can't quite grasp. Bear with me. I'm writing this per request. You know who you are...
At times I think I'm better at being miserable than I am at simply being content. I talked to two different friends from Utah today who I haven't talked to in a while. They seemed to have so much to say while I had hardly anything to report. My life is so drama-free. My life is simple. I really can just be. I go to work, I come home and hang out with Shelley, and go to bed. I know certain people won't believe it, but I'm totally fine being this way. I have learned to just be.
And then there are times when I start to reminisce on living in Price going to College of Eastern Utah (CEU), driving up to Salt Lake City every weekend to see you (Lee) and other friends, and run around spending money I didn't have. Dealing with all the consequences of living in an intensely small town to go to school where everyone knows your business and dealing with my parents' response to spending THEIR money that I didn't have was stressful.
I miss it. I often romanticize those times. Remembering only the fun parts and wishing I had all of those back. Then again, I think, "Remember how much that all sucked at the end of the day? Remember how often you cried yourself to sleep?" I think maybe I want all of that back. It's boring being so simple all the time. I like being sad. I like feeling so many emotions. Feeling so many emotions helps me write songs. Misery loves company, right? I hear it calling me sometimes. "Come be sad again, Hutch. Come fight against everything."
It's not for me, though. If I wanna do something a little extra, I just have to come up with the idea and ask Shelley to come do it with me. Things are great. I have a friend always by my side, a friend who I get along with always. I don't need misery.